Daily Reflection

AUGUST 23
BRINGING THE MESSAGE HOME
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our
sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A.
group?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 111-12
My family members suffer from the effects of my disease.
Loving and accepting them as they are— just as I love and
accept A.A. members—fosters a return of love, tolerance
and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and
respecting others' personal boundaries are necessary
practices for all areas of my life.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 22
SEEKING EMOTIONAL STABILITY
When we developed still more, we discovered the best
possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We
found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness,
and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing
else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't
very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the
urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116
All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs
and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By
the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over
people, places and things. I had been a real "people addict";
wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay
some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that
could only get worse, because the more I depended on
others and demanded attention, the less I received.
I have given up believing that any human power can
relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a
fragile human being who needs to work A.A.'s Steps to
keep this particular principle before my personality, it is
only a loving God who can give me inner peace and
emotional stability.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 21
WE JUST TRY
My stability came out of trying to give, not out of
demanding that I receive.
THE BEST OF BILL, pp. 46-47
As long as I try, with all my heart and soul, to pass along to
others what has been passed along to me, and do not
demand anything in return, life is good to me. Before
entering this program of Alcoholics Anonymous I was
never able to give without demanding something in return.
Little did I know that, once I began to give freely of myself,
I would begin to receive, without ever expecting or
demanding anything at all. What I receive today is the gift
of "stability," as Bill did: stability in my A.A. program;
within myself; but most of all, in my relationship with my
Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 20
TOWARD EMOTIONAL FREEDOM
Since defective relations with other human beings have
nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes,
including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could
yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 80
Willingness is a peculiar thing for me in that, over a period
of time, it seems to come, first with awareness, but then
with a feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some
action. As I reflected on taking the Eighth Step, my
willingness to make amends to others came as a desire for
forgiveness, of others and myself. I felt forgiveness toward
others after I became aware of my part in the difficulties of
relationships. I wanted to feel the peace and serenity
described in the Promises. From working the first seven
Steps, I became aware of whom I had harmed and that I had
been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my
relationships with my fellow human beings, I knew I would
have to change. I wanted to learn to live in harmony with
myself and others so that I could also live in emotional
freedom. The beginning of the end to my isolation— from
my fellows and from God—came when I wrote my Eighth
Step list.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 19
A FRAME OF REFERENCE
Referring to our list [inventory] again. Putting out of our
minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for
our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest,
self-seeking and frightened?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 67
There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant
approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love.
I wish I had known about this Step before, because once I
developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next
right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation and that
it was the correct thing to do.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 18
GETTING WELL
Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional
conflicts persist below the level of consciousness.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 79-80
Only through positive action can I remove the remains of
guilt and shame brought on by alcohol. Throughout my
misadventures when I drank, my friends would say, "Why
are you doing this? You're only hurting yourself." Little did
I know how true were those words. Although I harmed
others, some of my behavior caused grave wounds to my
soul. Step Eight provides me with a way of forgiving myself.
I alleviate much of the hidden damage when I make
my list of those I have hurt. In making amends, I free
myself of burdens, thus contributing to my healing.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 17
RIGHTING THE HARM
In many instances we shall find that though the harm done
others has not been great, the emotional harm we have
done ourselves has.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79
Have you ever thought that the harm you did a business
associate, or perhaps a family member, was so slight that it
really didn't deserve an apology because they probably
wouldn't remember it anyway? If that person, and the
wrong done to him, keeps coming to mind, time and again,
causing an uneasy or perhaps guilty feeling, then I put that
person's name at the top of my "amends list," and become
willing to make a sincere apology, knowing I will feel calm
and relaxed about that person once this very important part
of my recovery is accomplished.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 16
"I HAD DROPPED OUT"
We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say
that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of "harm"
do people do one another, anyway? To define the word
"harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of
instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental,
emotional, or spiritual damage to people.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 80
I had been to Eighth Step meetings, always thinking, "I
really haven't harmed many people, mostly myself." But the
time came when I wrote my list out and it was not as short
as I thought it would be. I either liked you, disliked you, or
needed something from you—it was that simple. People
hadn't done what I wanted them to do and intimate relationships
were out of hand because of my partners'
unreasonable demands. Were these "sins of omission"?
Because of my drinking, I had "dropped out"—never
sending cards, returning calls, being there for other people,
or taking part in their lives. What a grace it has been to look
at these relationships, to make my inventories in quiet,
alone with the God of my understanding, and to go forth
daily, with a willingness to be honest and forthright in my
relationships.

Words Of Wisdom From His Holiness Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama

Developing concern for others, thinking of them as part of us, brings self-confidence, reduces our sense of suspicion and mistrust, and enables us to develop a calm mind.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 15
DIDN'T WE HURT ANYBODY?
Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We
clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt
anybody but ourselves.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79
This Step seemed so simple. I identified several people
whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available.
Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided
conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to
investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me
uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had
been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer,
who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my
temper; and the friends I had shunned, without explanation.
As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight
took on new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable and I
feel clean and light.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 14
REPAIRING THE DAMAGE
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated
out of our effort to live on self-will and run the
show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask
until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning
we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
Making a list of people I had harmed was not a particularly
difficult thing to do. They had showed up in my Fourth
Step inventory: people towards whom I had resentments,
real or imagined, and whom I had hurt by acts of
retaliation. For my recovery to be thorough, I believed it
was not important for those who had legitimately harmed
me to make amends to me. What is important in my
relationship with God is that I stand before Him, knowing I
have done what I can to repair the damage I have done.

Daily Reflection

AUGUST 13
A CLEAN SWEEP
. . . and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the
past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of
ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with
every human being we know.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 77
As I faced the Eighth Step, everything that was required for
successful completion of the previous seven Steps came
together: courage, honesty, sincerity, willingness and
thoroughness. I could not muster the strength required for
this task at the beginning, which is why this Step reads
"Became willing. . . ."
I needed to develop the courage to begin, the honesty to
see where I was wrong, a sincere desire to set things right,
thoroughness in making a list, and willingness to take the
risks required for true humility. With the help of my Higher
Power in developing these virtues, I completed this Step
and continued to move forward in my quest for spiritual
growth.