Daily Reflection

MAY 12
THE PAST IS OVER
A.A. experience has taught us we cannot live alone with
our pressing problems and the character defects which
cause or aggravate them. If. . . Step Four . . . has revealed
in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember .
. . then the need to quit living by ourselves with those
tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever.
We have to talk to somebody about them.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
Whatever is done is over. It cannot be changed. But my
attitude about it can be changed through talking with those
who have gone before and with sponsors. I can wish the
past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what
I have done, my attitude will change. I won't have to wish
the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes, but
only through my actions and the help of my fellow
alcoholics.

Daily Reflection

MAY 11
A NEW SENSE OF BELONGING
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts,
and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still
didn't belong.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 57
After four years in A.A. I was able to discover the freedom
from the burden of buried emotions that had caused me so
much pain. With the help of A.A., and extra counseling, the
pain was released and I felt a complete sense of belonging
and peace. I also felt a joy and a love of God that I had
never experienced before. I am in awe of the power of Step
Five.

Daily Reflection

MAY 10
FREE AT LAST
Another great dividend we may expect from confiding our
defects to another human being is humility —a word often
misunderstood. . . . it amounts to a clear recognition of
what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt
to become what we could be.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 58
I knew deep inside that if I were ever to be joyous, happy
and free, I had to share my past life with some other
individual. The joy and relief I experienced after doing so
were beyond description. Almost immediately after taking
the Fifth Step, I felt free from the bondage of self and the
bondage of alcohol. That freedom remains after 36 years, a
day at a time. I found that God could do for me what I
couldn't do for myself.

Daily Reflection

MAY 9
WALKING THROUGH FEAR
If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God
to help us be willing.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76
When I had taken my Fifth Step, I became aware that all my
defects of character stemmed from my need to feel secure
and loved. To use my will alone to work on them would have
been trying obsessively to solve the problem. In the Sixth
Step I intensified the action I had taken in the first three
Steps—meditating on the Step by saying it over and over,
going to meetings, following my sponsor's suggestions,
reading and searching within myself. During the first three
years of sobriety I had a fear of entering an elevator alone.
One day I decided I must walk through this fear. I asked for
God's help, entered the elevator, and there in the corner was
a lady crying. She said that since her husband had died she
was deathly afraid of elevators. I forgot my fear and
comforted her. This spiritual experience helped me to see
how willingness was the key to working the rest of the
Twelve Steps to recovery. God helps those who help
themselves.

Daily Reflection

MAY 8
A RESTING PLACE
All of A.A. 's Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our
natural desires . . . they all deflate our egos. When it comes
to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But
scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety
and peace of mind than this one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
After writing down my character defects, I was unwilling to
talk about them, and decided it was time to stop carrying
this burden alone. I needed to confess those defects to
someone else. I had read—and been told—I could not stay
sober unless I did. Step Five provided me with a feeling of
belonging, with humility and serenity when I practiced it in
my daily living. It was important to admit my defects of
character in the order presented in Step Five: "to God, to
ourselves and to another human being." Admitting to God
first paved the way for admission to myself and to another
person. As the taking of the Step is described, a feeling of
being at one with God and my fellow man brought me to a
resting place where I could prepare myself for the remaining
Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety.

Daily Reflection

MAY 7
RESPECT FOR OTHERS
Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will
understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard
on ourself, but always considerate of others.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 74
Respect for others is the lesson that I take out of this
passage. I must go to any lengths to free myself if I wish to
find that peace of mind that I have sought for so long.
However, none of this must be done at another's expense.
Selfishness has no place in the A.A. way of life.
When I take the Fifth Step it's wiser to choose a person
with whom I share common aims because if that person
does not understand me, my spiritual progress may be
delayed and I could be in danger of a relapse. So I ask for
divine guidance before choosing the man or woman whom
I take into my confidence.

Daily Reflection

MAY 6
"HOLD BACK NOTHING"
The real tests of the situation are your own willingness to
confide and your full confidence in the one with whom you
share your first accurate self-survey. . . . Provided you hold
back nothing, your sense of relief will mount from minute to
minute. The dammed-up emotions of years break out of
their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they
are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility
takes its place.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 61-62
A tiny kernel of locked-in feelings began to unfold when I
first attended A.A. meetings and self-knowledge then
became a learning task for me. This new self-understanding
brought about a change in my responses to life's situations.
I realized I had the right to make choices in my life, and the
inner dictatorship of habits slowly lost its grip.
I believe that if I seek God I can find a better way to live
and I ask Him daily to assist me in living a sober life.

Daily Reflection

MAY 5
THE FOREST AND THE TREES
. . . what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own
rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking
to another person is that we can get his direct comment and
counsel on our situation. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 60
I cannot count the times when I have been angry and
frustrated and said to myself, "I can't see the forest for the
trees!" I finally realized that what I needed when I was in
such pain was someone who could guide me in separating
the forest and the trees; who could suggest a better path to
follow; who could assist me in putting out fires; and help
me avoid the rocks and pitfalls.
I ask God, when I'm in the forest, to give me the courage
to call upon a member of A.A.

Daily Reflection

APRIL 4
CRYING FOR THE MOON
"This very real feeling of inferiority is magnified by his
childish sensitivity and it is this state of affairs which
generates in him that insatiable, abnormal craving for selfapproval
and success in the eyes of the world. Still a child,
he cries for the moon. And the moon, it seems, won't have
him!"
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 102
While drinking I seemed to vacillate between feeling totally
invisible and believing I was the center of the universe.
Searching for that elusive balance between the two has
become a major part of my recovery. The moon I constantly
cried for is, in sobriety, rarely full; it shows me instead its
many other phases, and there are lessons in them all. True
learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness,
but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger
and my vision is clearer.

Daily Reflection

APRIL 3
ACCEPTING OUR HUMANNESS
We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the
other man's So we admitted our wrongs honestly and
became willing to set these matters straight.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 222
Why is it that the alcoholic is so unwilling to accept
responsibility? I used to drink because of the things that
other people did to me. Once I came to A.A. I was told to
look at where I had been wrong. What did I have to do with
all these different matters? When I simply accepted that I
had a part in them, I was able to put it on paper and see it
for what it was —humanness. I am not expected to be
perfect! I have made errors before and I will make them
again. To be honest about them allows me to accept
them—and myself—and those with whom I had the
differences; from there, recovery is just a short distance
ahead.

Daily Reflection

APRIL 2
CHARACTER BUILDING
Demands made upon other people for too much attention,
protection, and love can only invite domination or
revulsion. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44
When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step,
I didn't think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted
to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire to please
people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this "need"
can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the
approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I
used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to
get others to like me. If I get your approval, that's fine; but
if I don't, I will survive without it. I am responsible for
speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think
others may want to hear.
Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly
concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in
the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.

Daily Reflection

MAY 1
HEALING HEART AND MIND
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can
see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at
a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can
experience Him by loving people and allowing people to
love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my
secrets to get in the way.
It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules
me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to
heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom.
I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into
fear to find peace.
By revealing my secrets—and thereby ridding myself of
guilt—I can actually change my thinking; by altering my
thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my
future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I
think today.